For me, well, I already know what I want to have, it's just that, there is no way anyone or anything would be able to fulfill it.
After all, the opportunity just passed me by, even as I tried to grab it.
Don't get me wrong though, I'm not being arrogant. If anything, I'm not one to be arrogant. I wasn't much of a bright nugget in my short stint in school. Not very athletic either. You could say I'm one of the hundreds of students that do not stand out at all, and I'd really rather not. I'm not one to pick a fight either; never was I the bully, and only occasionally was I ever bullied. Not to say I didn't have friends or the sort, I do of course. After all, I am a normal student, but I guess I took normal to a whole new level. Hey, maybe because of that I'm actually something else! But meh, whatever.
Well, either way, school wasn't that enjoyable for me. It became even less enjoyable (and somehow awkward) upon my entry to secondary education. See, in our school, virgin graduates are an urban legend. Somehow, before one graduates from the High school I'm attending, everyone gets screwed, if you know what I mean. That aside, High School was, what they say, the golden age of students. This is where first loves are met, first dates are set and the first *ehem* in bed.
I'd kill to bring back those years.
But like they say, a wasted day is a spent day (or something like that, I'm no sage); there's just no turning back the clock. So I graduated from high school, had my first love, broke up just before graduation but not without the last tirade. I got honors and a few medals here and there, a fitting reward for my diligence.
Except, all that didn't actually happen.
I never had a first tirade, heck, never even made it to first base (wherever that is). I tried dating a few girls from my level, but not one of them was really my type (or vice versa... I think it's more vice versa). So I dumped all of them (but not before dumping me first, meh whatever).
So I graduated, not with flying colors or anything, just in a normal and unremarkable fashion. I saw my previous girlfriends marching and obtaining their diplomas, grading them in my head how many times they have probably dunnit. Seven. Five. Three. Certainly a two for her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really the vengeful type, it's just that, it was so boring! The march seemed to drag on forever, but like all good things, it all comes to an end sooner or later.
After the ceremony, my parents prepared a simple feast, supposedly for me. I really should remember to thank them sometime, as I've never really gotten to do so. I was too tired and sleepy to bother, and to bed I immediately went. I probably dozed off through the entire party (good thing my folks didn't ground me for not showing up), as it was already dark when I woke up.
I decided to make a quick stroll round the streets outside the house, to shake the cobwebs of sleep. The sun wasn't fully down yet, and the sky was wonderfully orange purple; quite a magnificent sight really. I stopped by the park just across my village, sat on one of the seats and stared aimlessly at the sky.
"Beautiful isn't it?"
I turned my head. Whatever was there, certainly was beautiful.
"Too bad, things like these don't really last."
"Pardo-"
"Shhhh, there isn't much time left."
She leaned against my shoulder, placing her hand on my chest.
"Let's just enjoy the view, and pretend we know each other."
I placed my hand on top of hers, expecting her to pull it back. To my surprise, she didn't even move.
The sun took its time setting, but it still felt so fast. Too fast.
I heard the sound of a car rushing to a stop, a door opening and footsteps shuffling in our direction.
"Miss, we must go back, the young master, your fiancee, is waiting for you."
Without a word, she stood from where she was sitting. I instinctively held on to her hand; for the first time in my life, I felt like not letting go. I have let all opportunities pass me by, living a normal and unremarkable life. Opportunities that could have turned into something beautiful if I had grabbed hold of them. Now, I just can't. I will not let opportunities pass me by anymore. Not this.
"Please, let go of the mistress. Did you not hear that she is already engaged? Don't make me resort to using force."
This was the first time I got a good look at her face. It was fleeting, but it was beautiful. A smiling and reassuring face. I let her hand go, as if as a regretful response to an honest, sincere and unspoken request.
"Young mistress, I will be waiting in the car. Please say your goodbyes to your... acquaintance."
Her chaperon left, his movements graceful but imposing, as if telling me that one wrong move and I die. Completely opposite of her body language.
Her lips felt soft and tender, catching me off guard.
"I'm sorry for all of this, consider that my compensation."
She turned away. I was too shocked to even move.
"We may probably never meet anymore, so I wouldn't even bother giving you my name, if to save you from longing for me. I had the greatest time, perhaps the greatest I will ever be having."
"Thank you. Please continue enjoying your life while you can."
Her car took off faster than I could react. It was pointless to chase after it, perhaps her chaperon was making sure I'd never even get a chance to catch a passing glimpse of her. I stood frozen where I was, still quite unsure of what just happened. I can still feel her warmth permeating through my skin, through my entire body.
True enough, I never met her again. Nobody knew who she was, not even the village security. It was as if she never existed, and I'm beginning to think maybe everything was just a dream. But it couldn't be, I can still feel the softness of her lips against mine; no way that could be just a dream! Whoever she was though, I'd probably never find out.
Hard as it is, I resigned myself to that.
Cruel isn't it, how the one and only time you became determined to hold on, it just had to be in that one impossible situation. Her last words still continue to ring in my ears, an invitation I could never ever accept.
But in her memory, I will.
